When It's Time to Retreat

 Webster's Dictionary defines retreat as either a verb or a noun - something you do or a directive - to retreat/withdraw or to signal a "retreat."  For years women have been actively engaged in a yearly activity called A Retreat. A Women's Retreat.  If you've ever been part of one you know that there is food, a copious quantity of chocolate and caffeine and an equal quantity of tears and tenderness.  These two to three day adventures are centered around a theme and there is teaching.  Because, we'll we're women and we enjoy all that stuff.  But, the operative word here, Beloved is RETREAT.  A withdrawing.  Retreat is not a negative and oftentimes it is NECESSARY.  

This summer after an extended season of exquisitely painful struggle, we found ourselves in need of retreat.  While we can look back and admit that we should have pulled back a little earlier than we did, mostly to spare our hearts and minimize the impact the season had on our hearts, our finances and our marriage, we finally waived the white flag and backed away.  We knew our retreat was going to mean silence in some areas. Trust me - the retreat didn't heal everything.  But - in the withdrawal - we were confronted with our exquisite need for rest.  We were battle weary and soul tired.  

We've all read that there are two kinds of tired.  The one that says your body is done and the other that says your soul simply can't endure one more moment of pain - spiritual, physical or emotional.  We were SOUL tired.  There were way too many days when I wanted to take me and my little doggie, pack a back and drive.  To where I didn't know but the beach beckoned.  But what good would running do?  I didn't need to run away - I just needed retreat.  To pull back.  To reassess.  To regroup.  Get my bearings.  Find my way.  Have a moment to connect with The Way, The Truth, The Life.  I needed to be reminded that I wasn't alone.  I needed to sit with how I was feeling - fear, anger, frustration, sadness and yes, grief even though no one had died.  I had to admit that I simply wasn't able to make the journey on my own strength.  And to begin to heal. 

I've said many times, healing is hard and it takes a LOT of courage to engage in the hard of healing.  But I would be remiss to not remind that HEALING also takes rest.  Intentional rest. And yes, retreat.  We all know that if we've been wounded physically, we don't do the thing again that caused the injury (well, at least not the way we did if you're an athlete).  We take the time to figure our what caused the injury and learn better.  The same is with life. I don't know where you're at but, I know where I have been many times in my life.  And in the hard places, sometimes, continuing to just push through and battle isn't the answer.  Today and every day it is my prayer for me and for you that we will have the courage to know when to stay in the battle and when to retreat, regroup, maybe get some new marching orders and maybe, just maybe, but usually - surrender.  That, my friend, is often when the real healing begins. 

WGL, A2


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