Facing Your Giants (Long Post Alert)

    By now, many of you know that we, as a family, began the Long Walk Home with my Daddy in mid-December of last year.  A little over a week ago it was determined that Daddy would not recover from his 26 years of both chronic and acute illness and all interventional care was withdrawn.  

    Daddy was transferred to Hospice and, while many only spend hours or days in the care of those angels, Daddy has been there now almost a week.  While are our hearts are broken, we have always known that we would get here.  To this place.  Of course, we never quite knew when - or exactly how but I know I have prayed that Daddy's walk from here to Heaven would be peaceful and pain free.  So far, my prayers have been answered. 

    What I could not have forseen is what doctors describe as "the Rally."  This is a short window of time when those who have suffered from debilitating illness are no longer subjected to toxic medications, painful procedures, poking, prodding, and machine-assisted, life-extending measures like renal dialysis.  In this time, Daddy has been often awake, receiving visitors, eating lots of really good (he says the best ever) mac and cheese, drinkin' his fave diet pop and getting to be with Mom.

 In this past week, I have had the exquisite privilege and blessing to be directly reminded of my Daddy's' love and to talk with him about "stuff and things."  Things like his travels. His extraordinary life.  The Cats (University of Kentucky Men's Basketball - #GoBigBlue) and today, about King David and why he was considered a man after God's own heart. 

I have oft looked at the men I love the most - My Dad, my husband, my sons - men whom I know love God but who, in their human pursuits, sometimes fall short. Does their humanity, like David's mean they are less anointed, have less of a place in God's kingdom? Hardly.  As we spoke of King David and what made him a man after God's own heart, the discussion turned, as it will, to other things.  I don't recall exactly why but I asked Daddy about his own return to the fold after he had walked away from the Lord for a season of life.  Daddy often referred to that season as his own wanderings in the desert.  Those wanderings at times led him places I am certain in later life he would not have dreamed of going but, if I know Daddy, and I think I do, he was humble enough to admit that some of more stubborn folk need to learn things the hard way - like King David did.  David learned the hard way that his choices had consequences - one choice had cost him a child and even still, David adored and revered God and desired to follow him.  David had first had faced a giant and, when he humbled himself to God's direction, we know what happened to THAT guy! 

I remember after losing my Mamaw - my daddy's mother - daddy came home and pronounced we, as a family, would begin attending church.  Daddy had had a "come to Jesus" with a dear friend while he was home attending his Momma's service and he returned changed.  Daddy had faced one of many giants - the loss of the mother he adored - and it changed him.  In his grief, he was confronted with his wanderings and the choices he was making. Becoming a man after God's own heart meant facing giants. 

I asked Daddy how long after losing his momma did he decide to quit smoking and he told me a story of a business meeting he had been in where the speaker's topic was "Facing Your Giants"  WHOA! Weren't we JUST talking about that???? I asked Daddy what he was experiencing in that moment  and he said he knew at that moment there were things in his life that were keeping him from God's best.  Giants in the path that needed to be moved. Beloved - we can choose courage or comfort but not both.  Daddy said he didn't feel condemnation but, indeed, conviction and he felt like he had no choice to respond.  The day of that seminar, he came home and threw all of his cigarettes in the trash.  Another giant faced.  Another victory for life well lived.  

Over these past 26 year - maybe over the entire 61 years of my life I have watched my Daddy and Mother face and slay a LOT of giants with courage and conviction and purpose.  I know my parents to be people of character, integrity and honor.  But I would say to them as I say to you - they're not perfect and their imperfection has not meant, for one moment, that God has loved them any less in the human frailty.  Oh, Beloved - quite the contrary.  I truly believe, like He did King David - God sees to the heart of each of us and when we want to love well, live well, do well and serve well - when WE are inclined toward the heart of God, we are AFTER His heart and we have it.  

The physical issues my Daddy has faced have brought one giant after another to his earthly battle field and he's kicked their butts.  But, like every warrior, he's battle weary and his body is battered and bruised.  In the Norse Mythology, Odin will send a Valkyrie to retrieve the bravest warriors who die in battle and ferry him home to Valhalla.  If my daddy was of that belief,  I would want the most beautiful Valkyrie for him because he's been the bravest warrior his entire life. What I do know he and I believe is that soon he will close his eyes one last time, and there will be a breathtakingly beautiful divine messenger who will escort my sweet Daddy to the feet of Jesus - wow - talk about facing a Giant!!!

Beloved, as I have been reminding you recently of what Dr. Brene Brown says - you can choose comfort or you can choose courage but you can't choose both.  When it comes to facing the giants in our lives - those things that are keeping us from what we're supposed to do, where we're supposed to go, who we're supposed to do life and friendship with, habits that are not serving us it is my hope that you too will choose to face YOUR giants.  And I promise I won't make you face them alone.  

Sending you so much love, From the Well, 

Coach A

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